05.20.11

Just when I thought I was going to get back in to the swing of scrapbooking (I haven't done any in about a month) the whole week just turned upside down.  This past Sunday we received the horrible news that one of our friends had passed away.  I suppose his death wasn't horribly shocking because he was suffering from an inoperable, incurable cancer.  What has made it most difficult to digest is that he was diagnosed just this past March, when he went to the ER with pain in his stomach. CT scans of his abdomen found a large tumor in his liver that had ruptured, as well as a thrombosed/clotted vein. After stopping the bleed, a liver surgeon and an oncologist diagnosed that he had inoperable and incurable liver cancer that had metastasized to his lungs.  He was told that without treatment, his liver would function for only 4 to 6 months, and that  the only treatment option available was to take a chemotherapy pill twice a day for however long it would extend his life.  Afer the diagnosis he searched out alternative experimental treatments including clinical trials, but he unfortunately did not qualify for any of them.

So this past Sunday, John went to be with our Heavenly Father and is now free from all pain...a thought that offers many of us great peace and comfort.  But it's so difficult to think about his widow (also a friend of ours) who is in her early 30's and has a one-year old daughter who will never know her father.  I've been praying diligently for their family since we heard the news this past March, but have still felt so helpless.  So when Lilian (John's widow) contacted me early in the week and asked to make a guestbook for the memorial service tomorrow, I felt so honored.  I was also thrilled to think I could physically contribute to a keepsake that she plans to give to their daughter Kayla in the future.

This tragedy has also given me reason to look at my own life with new eyes.  Noé works such long hours...leaving so early in the morning, getting home so late at  night, and working so many Saturdays.  I miss him so much but I am feeling so thankful that he comes home to us every day.  And I've been thinking about how every day is a gift...so instead of feeling disappointed that I haven't had the time to scrap our memories, I am focusing on enjoying the moments that will become those treasured memories.